| The Man Is Saying: | And Means: |
| "It's a male thing." | "There's absolutely no pattern to this and there's no way you'll ever understand it logically." |
| "Can I help with dinner?" | "Why isn't it on the table already?" |
| "Sure", "of course, honey" or "yes, honey" | Absolutely nothing. It is a reflex comment. |
| "It would take too long to explain." | "I don't have a clue how this works." |
| "I've been exercising lately." | "The remote is out of batteries." |
| "We'll be late!" | "Great, now I have a reason to drive like a maniac!" |
| "Relax, honey; you work too hard." | "I can't hear the match if you're vacuuming." |
| "Interesting." | "You're still talking?" |
| "Honey, we don't need things to express our love for each other." |
"I forgot our anniversary again." |
| "You expect too much from me." | "You expect me to stay awake." |
| "That's a woman's job." | "That's a diffcult, dirty and thankless job." |
| "You know how bad my memory is." | "I remember the theme from The Platoon, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the plate numbers of ever car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." |
| "Calm down; it's just a scratch!" | "I've almost cut off an essential part of my body, but I'd rather bleed to death than admit that it hurts! |
| "I do help with the housework." | "I put a dirty towel in the laundry last year." |
| "I have my reasons for doing it this way." | "I really hope I'll figure this out soon." |
| "I couldn't find it." | "It didn't fall from the sky into my outstretched hands." |
| "Now what did I do?" | "Now what did you catch me doing?" |
| "You look great!" | "Please stop trying clothes on. I'm hungry!" |
| "I've missed you!" | "I can't find my socks, the kids are hungry and we're out of toilet paper." |
| "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are!" | "I'm completely lost. I have no idea where we are, and nobody will ever see us alive again!" |
| "We share the housework." | "I make a mess, she cleans it up." |
| "I don't need to read the manual!" | "I need no manual to mess this up." |
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