"...and that's when we teach them something every human knows: Payback's a bitch!"
McQueen to the 58th about the Chigs, "The Pilot."

"I've just been assigned as your squadron commander. And if you ever pull anything like what you did out there under my command, the only medal you'll be wearing are cuffs in the brig!"
McQueen to the 58th, "The Pilot."

"To me, [the Chigs] look more like a praying mantis, or a walking stick. We can call them 'walkers'!"
" 'Let's blow the hell out of the Walkers' ?"
"Yeah."
"Keep working on it..."
Chang and Vansen, "The Farthest Man from Home."

"West! What, are you wondering what to give me for Christmas?"
McQueen to an absent-minded West, "The Farthest Man From Home."

"Colonel McQueen, with all the crap you've pulled in your career, that you continue to pull, you should have been drummed out of the corps!"
"Sir, with my war-record, I should have been made a general."
"Why not? You give orders like one!"
Cmdre Ross and McQueen, "The Farthest Man From Home."

"Feeling like maybe you're not coming back? Everyone gets that."
"And how does 'everyone' deal with it?"
"They go out, and then come back. Or they don't."
"Thanks, for keeping it simple."
"Vansen! There's no such thing as predetermination. And there's no such thing as luck. You make things happen! Keep your head together and don't make mistakes, and you'll come back. It's that simple."
McQueen and Vansen, "The Darker Side of the Sun."

"Most people won't work with nipple-necks."
"Let me tell you something, Mr Ashby: I'll work with anyone who wants to work!"
"Not a lot of people feel that way."
"I'm not a lot of people."
Ashby, Damphousse, Sorrell and Damphousse again, "Mutiny."

"'How many loved your moments of glad grace
And loved your beauty with love, false or true?
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.'
Try sending that via SpaceNet!"
Vansen to Wang, "Mutiny."

"Kind of a bummer, getting your butt kicked by a dead guy."
McQueen when a 'dead' man gets agressive, "Ray Butts."

"Home come you just can't punch a senior officer? Like, if he's got it coming?
Hawkes about Butts, "Ray Butts."

"I want you gone! I don't care how or why you're here, or what you think you're doing with my people; abusing subordinates, disrupting morale and unity... Whatever you're doing, I take one look at you and know that it's all about you, and anyone pulled in is going to die while you just drive on!"
"They all passsed my test. They all came running to help their buddies. You've taught them real good."
"Don't butter me. You are gone! I don't care if you turn out to be the Commodore's best golf buddy in [?] scarlet and gold, you are gone! I will pull any string to get you away from my people and off this bucket and back to the slime pit you crawled out of!"
McQueen and Butts, "Ray Butts."

"I'm in a squad where I'd rather shoot the CO, than the enemy!"
"Knock it off!"
"You know what I'm saying, sir. I mean, I never felt like shooting you!"
Hawkes and McQueen, "Ray Butts."

"I know they're not my children; they're marines, life-takers and heart-breakers, and I know we're at war and people die. But if any of my people die because of you, all your recon skills and black ops training won't be worth a damn: I'll find you!"
McQueen to Butts, "Ray Butts."

"C'mon, Wang! What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for my testicles. They should be dropping in any second."
West and Wang after a high-altitude, low-opening parachute jump, "Ray Butts."

"What is that stuff?"
"I'm not sure, but I think they served it in my highschool cafeteria."
Wang and West about goo in an alien spaceship, "Hostile Visit."

"I want that little geek!"
McQueen about Sewell, "Hostile Visit."

"I haven't read this much since Bojus made us read that nude deadpeople book."
"You wouldn't by any stretch of the imagination mean 'The Naked and the Dead' ?"
Hawkes and a lieutenant, "Hostile Visit."

"She looks like... Jerry Lewis!"
Vansen about Damphousse, "Hostile Visit."

"What's the name of this place again?"
"The planet's called Cer."
"Nice!"
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing, just named after the Greek god of violent death, that's all!"
"Why can't we ever get a planet with a friendly name, you know, like the planet Chuckles or something?!"
A nameless marine, West, Wang, Nameless again, Wang again and Vansen, "Stay With the Dead."

"Four out of ten momentum wheels are down!"
"Main propulsion system inoperable."
"Partial pressure/O2 sensors at 24 kPa."
"Main onboard computer... is singing with Elvis."
Winslow, West, Wang and Damphousse on a seriously damaged ISSCV, "The River of Stars."

"If we ever get back home, we should chip in and get McQueen a good psychiatrist."
Vansen, picking up the "Batman" intro over the radio, "The River of Stars."

"Now, this may not be proper conduct for a commander, but given the circumstances, I, eh... and no, I am not drunk!"
Ross to the 58th by radio, just before starting to play "I'll Be Home for Christmas" on his guitar, "The River of Stars."

"Monitor, who monitors the birds?"
"I monitor the birds.
"Who monitors you?"
Monitor and Hawkes, "Who Monitors the Birds?"
(Nominated by Lisa Tonegran, thanks!)

"'Abandon all hope,' my ass!"
Ross about Chiggie von Richthoven, "Never No More."

"I'll be a son of a bitch if I go to your funeral, Ty."
"Yes, you will, sir... but we'll talk about your mother when I get back!"
Ross and McQueen, "The Angriest Angel."

"58th, this is Red Dog. Are you the guys who dialled 911?"
Rescue party to the 58th, "Toy Soldiers."

"What are you waiting for, Hawkes? Letter from Ma and Pa, saying how proud they are? Mail call's no place for tanks."
McQueen to Hawkes, "Dear Earth."

"To the shower-room!"
"What?!"
"Don't worry; We'll black out all the naughty bits, hon."
"Hear this loud and clear, hon: Any camera makes it into the shower-room, the only thing that's gonna be blacked out is your head!"
A captain and Vansen, "Dear Earth."

"I don't want to be promoted to captain! I want to use the phone!"
Vansen to Wang and Hawkes, "Dear Earth."

"You and your APC are out of 'simpatico.'"
"Tank!"
"No need to get ugly, Sergeant!"
"Pearly is not an Armoured Personnel Carrier; she's a tank!"
Hawkes, Sgt. Fox, McQueen and Fox again, "Pearly."

"What are you people doing hanging around? I want you out bombing chigs, before they've had their morning coffee and doughnuts!"
McQueen to the 58th, "Stardust."

"Okay, strap yourselves in! This flight is gonna suck, and we don't serve peanuts!"
Hawkes to colonists, "...Tell Our Moms We Done Our Best."

"It should not have been you. It shouldn't be me... but it is."
McQueen to Ross, "...Tell Our Moms We Done Our Best."