If Students had Written the Bible...

The bread and the fish would have been replaced by pizza and crisps/chips.
The Ten Commandments would have been only five, but since they'd be printed with double spacing and in a large font, they'd look like ten.
The forbidden fruit would have been eaten since it wasn't food belonging to the shared kitchen.
St. Paul's Epistle to the Romans would have been St. Paul's E-mail to the Romans.
The reason Kain killed Abel: they were room-mates.
God wouldn't have created the world in six days and rested on the seventh; instead, he'd have waited until the night before the work should be finished, worked like crazy to get the job done in one night, and hoped nobody would notice.
The reason Moses and his people wandered through the desert for forty years: they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.